Funny Things People with Height Issues do

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There are people out there who have height issues. By that, I mean they are constantly worried about their height, because for some people feel that their height is a big deal. I'm qualified to right this blog post because throughout my higher education student life i've been surrounded by a couple of guys who were just obsessed with their height. They act differently to most people, it's subtle and to most people who are not bothered about their height, these differences go completely unoticed. Nonetheless, if you spot what they are doing, it's actually quite funny.

So in no particular order, here goes.

Walking on the higher camber of the side walk

This will suprise you, but it's probably the most common thing that people suffering from height issues do. Usually a path / sidewalk is never flat. One side is normally higher than the other. I've had mates deliberately walk around me to get to the higher part of the path (as if I don't know what their doing!). It sounds rediculous but it's true. I remember this guy who would stand on the highest part of the sidewalk when we were waiting in queues outside nightclubs.

Standing on higher ground in group photographs

Another trick they do is finding the higher ground to stand on in a photograph with a group of people in it. This does not work in door with flat ground, but shots taken outside usually involve a non-level ground. Standing on the higher ground is a subtle but very effective way of appearing tall on photos. They also ensure that they are standing at straight as possible, because posture has a huge impact on height.

Taking thick slippers to friends houses

One of my mates from college always brings huge, thick slippers to my house everytime he comes. He knows when he gets here he won't be able to wear his shoes around the house and he doesn't want to appear small being barefoot. My floors are clean, there's no need to wear slippers, but you can be sure that he always brings the bloody things with him. Of course it goes without saying, everytime I go to his house he is wearing them. I guess it's better than wearing shoes in the house, which is what an old flat mate used to do. In 2 years of living with this guy, I never ever saw him in stocking feet! In fact the only time I ever saw him in socks was when I knocked on his bedroom door to ask him something and he was sat on his bed, and he wouldn't stand up in fear of showing me his real height. The funny thing was when he need to get up to get to his computer at his desk, he moved across the width of his bedroom still in a seated position. YES I am serious!

Quickly moving away from tall people who come near them

OK, it's the same two guys I lived with. They simply hate being stood next to someone who is tall. They will move away from them. It could be a case of walking with a group of people and ensuring that they are not walking next to the tall guy of the group, or it could be a case of dancing away from the tall guys in clubs. I've seen it happen with my own eyes. People with height issues will go out of their way to deal with the situation at hand. An example of this was one I walked into a bar with a group of guys, including the guy with a serious height issue. We needed to get drinks but the bar had tall guys standing across it's entire length. Being as self-conscious as he is, he didn't want to stand there empty handed with no drink, but he was afraid to stand next to the tall guys. He told me to go get the drinks in, which I didn't mind but asked him to come with me because i'd got the drinks in at the previous bar. He obviously didn't want to go to the bar. We exchanged a few words along the lines of, 'ok let's go', 'come on', 'are you coming' etc. Eventually he got so worked up about it and when he came with me you could see it in his eyes how much he was hating the situation.

Hanging from landings on stairs

Yes. My old flat mate seemed to think that prolonged hanging from the communal stairs in our block of flats would stretch his spine and allow for him to grow taller. He was 22 years old at the time, and I believe he stopped growing at about 19. He said even if it doesn't help him grow taller, it will give him a temporary boost of up to 4 hours - just enough to look taller on our clubbing nights. He said the key was to relax every single muscle in your body, especially your back. I tried out it out and it's torture. Hanging for 2 minutes at a time feels like your hands are being chewed on by an alligator. For those intrigues by this... don't do it if you want to keep the use of your hands for the remainder of your life.  It must surely do damage to your joints too - it's very different to a pull up because your completely relaxed, apart from your grip.

There you go, so now you know how to spot someone with height issues!

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Comments

Trev's picture
Haha the hanging thing makes me laugh.
A tall guy's picture
They go out of their way to avoid being near tall people? So that's why people are avoiding me since I got tall!!
Someone's picture
I'm only 5'3, just smaller than average for a female, but I don't mind standing next to tall people. We just have a laugh about it! My friend is 6'5 and I come up to his shoulders :O

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